(Part 2) Dream Discovery

The hospital is freezing in my paper gown. I wish I could put the clothes I came in back on--Cliff's flannel shirt and his sister's overalls.

The doctor comes in frowning. "We bandaged you up best we could... You're Cliff's... cousin?" He doesn't believe us, but at least he doesn't press.

I nod. "How long you in town?" I shrug. "We should see you again next week to make sure it's healing. You remember how to change the bandages?"

"Sure. I'm fine." "And you don't remember how this happened?" I bite my lip. This is our weak point. "We had a fire... We think I fell asleep."

He nods. "It's odd; the burn is worst in the center as if... Nevermind. I'm prescribing you an antibiotic and painkillers to take as needed."

"As if what?" I ask, but he shakes his head. "Drink plenty of fluid; you were pretty dehydrated when you came in," he adds as he heads out.

Cliff covers the cost of the visit, even though I tell him not to. Without insurance the price tag is insane. I owe this man more than money.

"How much do you remember?" he asks on the way home. We didn't talk about it at the hospital--I didn't want to end up in some psych ward.

I know I shouldn't talk about it until I know what's going on, but I trust my cowboy. He hasn't asked a thing all day. "Honestly? Nothing."

"That must feel so weird.. Not to know yourself." He looks sorry for me.I shrug. "It's not that strange. I can't remember anything different."

In the house he puts sheets on a spare couch. Springs poke my back when I lay down, and the whole thing creaks, but I tell him it's perfect.

It's only eight o'clock when I fall asleep, the light still bright in the living room window. It's not long until my subconscious kicks in.

Bright lights, fast shapes, a million sounds. Over it all, someone screaming, sobbing. "Please," they cry, voice tearing in throat. "Please."

A higher voice, female, laughs. Harsh sound. The shapes get clearer. Beside me on the ground, a charred boy-shape is wreathed in flames.

The boy doesn't scream - he is beyond feeling. A man beside him begs on his hands and knees. The woman is still laughing, gleeful hatred.

"Nice, Lucinda," someone comments. "Very nice." I turn to the speaker, jarred by recognition. It's the man from the train tracks, who woke me.

Seeing him pulls me from the dream. I sit up with a gasp, confused. Surroundings are unfamiliar... It takes a moment to realize where I am.

It's dark outside the cowboy's house now. Even the half-moon has almost set. I watch it through slitted eyes as I try in vain to sleep again.

The house is chilly, even though Cliff left me all the spare blankets he had. I huddle deeper into them, but my insides feel covered in frost.

Finally I throw off the covers altogether, slip on his overalls. The floor creaks, but not enough to wake him, I think. I go out the front door.

The yard is spectral in the moonlight. Trees are wizened giants, the fog is a rolling ghost. Even the grass whispers of things forgotten...

I wander, nowhere in particular. A patch of green catches my attention; a vine that creeps along the side of the house, dotted with blossoms.

I run my fingers over the leaves, the petals, I want to feel everything, suddenly. I want to know the whole world, since I cannot know myself.

I slip out of the overalls to lie in the grass. The dew is frozen, the soft wind cold as ice. I stay still, will myself to blend into the cold.

Eventually, after I don't know how long, the cold falls away. Warmth radiates through my body, starting in my toes, spreading to every limb.

I am burning up, sweating in the freezing spring morning, and my body relishes the heat. I imagine tendrils of smoke in the grass around me.

Something smells wrong, though, something is off. I can't place it, but the scent is familiar, like campfires or roasting meat fat and tender.

The pain comes at me without warning, sharp and steady at the base of my spine. I don't remember crying out, but I must have -- Cliff runs out.

I pull the overalls across my body hastily, but he doesn't care, he's already rolling me over. Even his gentle touch sets off another spasm.

"We need to take you back to the hospital," he murmurs, but I shake my head. "Too much. Just change the bandages," I say through gritted teeth.